A change in policy, some deeper thoughts.

I used to post the links of my blogposts but I have decided against that for this one, or perhaps I have decided to not post the links again. What is the point in having people read by posting the links, if it's good enough they should come here on their own and find something new to read. 

One of the consultants that I work with, he had read my blog and then after a few minutes he said this to me "are you sure you want others to read your writings? These are a part of your soul" He had some depth in his words, probably their is the desirer to be validated and approved that has been driving me to publish the links of my writings but the sad truth is, these are just a handful views not hundreds of thousands of views so I should simply treat this as nothing more but just a diary that I am happy not to keep locked away. Why deprive the people of reading something provided they want to come and read it on their own. 

The alarm is ringing in the background but I enjoy the tune, I don't feel threatened by it. I take my time and punch in the keys and add words to this blogpost. You can ask me, why don't I just keep a damn diary and keep everything to myself. There are two reasons, 1) I would not want you to read my diary as it will contain thoughts very near and dear to me, things I would never ever think of writing up on my blog. 2) I am just lazy, the last actual entry in my diary is from June 2022, and the most recent one is just an entry for the sake of entry from the mid of Feb 2023. 

The thirst of validation makes us do a lot of things just to get noticed, but is there anything that you can get from it? Not really, most of the times you don't even have an idea what people think so the validation is never really there. The biggest appreciation is you, if you feel something is worth doing I strongly advice that you work towards it. The best feeling will not come immediately because you might not be successful in the first attempt, but it will gradually come there. It will be there when you compare yourself from who you were one week ago and who you are today, and that is really all you need. The human factor can be weighed in when you are that good, when you are that good you will get the praise. But it is the internal satisfaction that you really need, everything else does not really matter because you don't know anything completely. 

I have an ODP in my department, and he says the absolute best compliments you can get. Intubate a patient swiftly, he will say "good one , sir!"

if you are cannulating a difficult IV access and he is around, you will hear that shout of appreciation "good shot, sir!" Get an arterial line in without making a mess, and you will hear it that friendly compliment again. 

That makes my day, and as it makes the day of so many other people who get these little compliments and little suggestions here and there now. These are the kinds of things that you really need, something that comes to you when you don't expect it.