Carrot cake, Liverpool and a regret.

I just came back after a night shift and there was carrot cake in the kitchen. When it comes to something like a cake, everything begins and ends at chocolate for me. The more chocolate, the merrier it is!

So why do I speak of a carrot cake when I like chocolate cakes. Today marks the beginning of March, it may be an ordinary month for most of the people but it holds a certain degree of significance for me. March brought a lot of changes over the years for me, last year in March I got my visa for the plab 2 exam and the next day I was in the UK.

Talk of the exam might be a story for another day, or maybe let's forget it. 

I was in Liverpool, it was a nice sunny day of March and if I remember it correctly, it was a Friday. I had just been free from the exam and it was a moment of relief but there was no happiness. It was just the feeling of being rid of something. I made my way to the city center, my God it was so f*ck!ng lively. People everywhere, full of life and it lifted you up like you wouldn't know. I remember there were a few people with their guitars and mics, they were singing as the shoppers would walk through the busy streets. I hadn't understood the UK weather at that time so my dressing was too odd. Nonetheless that did not stop me from enjoying my time. 

In the afternoon, around 2 p.m I found myself at Costa coffee. A cup of mocha and then I found myself in a situation, there was either the time tested and beloved flavor of chocolate or there was something new, a carrot cake. I felt like a change should be there so I went with the carrot cake. It wasn't a bad choice per se, but it wasn't the best choice. I would've gone for the chocolate cake if I had the chance to make that choice again, but we only learn from our experiences. 

Life is a strange phenomenon, we feel so confident in one instance and in the very next moment everything can change, just like this. Working in anaesthesia can show you how thin the line is between life and death, how things can be well controlled in one instance and become drastically wrong in the next. And anaesthesia does not like to sugarcoat anything, it is blunt, it will make you happy with an easy intubation and it will make you feel miserable, break you and make you cry. But we all cry, we have to cry but we have to do whatever we can and however we can. The message is simple, be it anaesthesia or anything else, life can change just like that, we just have to be strong enough to get back up. Or try to be strong enough to find the strength and the courage to stand up. You don't need to have all the answers, you just have to be you and just give it your best. 

Enjoy life, live life and find the happiness in things that no one can steal from you.