Controversy, a beauty. Relationships
I usually want to avoid a controversial topic but sometimes beauty lies in a controversy.
With the world now a global village there is an influx of thoughts and ideas which have brought a lot of things into the limelight, most of them which used to exist behind the doors. I'm not saying that whatever the change taking place is bad, cause this varies from person to person with each favoring a side by some logic or something if not logic, I'm just highlighting something which I think needs a thought or two, if nothing more.
The controversy which I want to talk about is relationships. Again, like I said I'm not saying these associations are bad but if you're not aware about the "eastern values" then you need to paint a picture in your mind.
With changing times, one generation is more than two steps ahead of the previous one, with a relationship which is not "approved" by the families, a lot of trouble is just waiting for you out there. Most of the parents never talk to their children about these relationships so the majority of teens and "young adults" don't really have an idea of what they should and shouldn't do. There are some bold people who are able to take stand and then there are some who aren't that bold and they "cave in" to the eastern value concept. But now another thought, is the whole eastern value thing just limited to the female gender? In the society a lot of space is given to the male gender, even if the mistake was on the side of the dominating gender.
So suppose you're a teen or a young adult born into a Pakistani family, or an eastern family, there has never been a formal or an informative talk by your parents or an elder sibling about relationships and what the changes your body and mind goes through when you transition from teenage to this age of "responsibility" and suddenly you find yourself in a relationship, you haven't put much thought or no thought at all, it all just feels so magical and so out of this world and you find this surge of happiness. One day you tell your parents or your siblings about it and they give you a long long lecture about what the "eastern values" are, with what you hear you're just tormented and are officially a sailor of the two boats. Frustration starts to build up, your once happiness filled relationship now feels like a wreck, and you may not be able to pin point the exact cause even though it's right out there, it's this confusion, you want something and you're told to leave the thoughts about it but where were these lectures when they mattered the most. Now if you're the only child or your parents are that understanding, they'll accept your decision but if they aren't you have to "end it" and a lot of people don't end it there and again frustration, anger and sometimes violence results.
So my suggestion, either you educate your children before they go on experimenting so that they have some idea about what they're dealing with and that you'll be there to support them when they need that support or you simply let them know about your expectations and clear that gray zone. Investing yourself into such relationships when the efforts will be futile is never a good choice, attachments once made leave an impact, it could be something positive or negative.
With the world now a global village there is an influx of thoughts and ideas which have brought a lot of things into the limelight, most of them which used to exist behind the doors. I'm not saying that whatever the change taking place is bad, cause this varies from person to person with each favoring a side by some logic or something if not logic, I'm just highlighting something which I think needs a thought or two, if nothing more.
The controversy which I want to talk about is relationships. Again, like I said I'm not saying these associations are bad but if you're not aware about the "eastern values" then you need to paint a picture in your mind.
With changing times, one generation is more than two steps ahead of the previous one, with a relationship which is not "approved" by the families, a lot of trouble is just waiting for you out there. Most of the parents never talk to their children about these relationships so the majority of teens and "young adults" don't really have an idea of what they should and shouldn't do. There are some bold people who are able to take stand and then there are some who aren't that bold and they "cave in" to the eastern value concept. But now another thought, is the whole eastern value thing just limited to the female gender? In the society a lot of space is given to the male gender, even if the mistake was on the side of the dominating gender.
So suppose you're a teen or a young adult born into a Pakistani family, or an eastern family, there has never been a formal or an informative talk by your parents or an elder sibling about relationships and what the changes your body and mind goes through when you transition from teenage to this age of "responsibility" and suddenly you find yourself in a relationship, you haven't put much thought or no thought at all, it all just feels so magical and so out of this world and you find this surge of happiness. One day you tell your parents or your siblings about it and they give you a long long lecture about what the "eastern values" are, with what you hear you're just tormented and are officially a sailor of the two boats. Frustration starts to build up, your once happiness filled relationship now feels like a wreck, and you may not be able to pin point the exact cause even though it's right out there, it's this confusion, you want something and you're told to leave the thoughts about it but where were these lectures when they mattered the most. Now if you're the only child or your parents are that understanding, they'll accept your decision but if they aren't you have to "end it" and a lot of people don't end it there and again frustration, anger and sometimes violence results.
So my suggestion, either you educate your children before they go on experimenting so that they have some idea about what they're dealing with and that you'll be there to support them when they need that support or you simply let them know about your expectations and clear that gray zone. Investing yourself into such relationships when the efforts will be futile is never a good choice, attachments once made leave an impact, it could be something positive or negative.
Very important concept.Communication between parents and children is key to avoiding traumatic experiences that result from mere ignorance on child's part.Relationships have existed in cultures since long, and even in those that did not accept this trend, the association would take place beneath covers.formal education is usually given given top priority, however teaching young people about such matters is also necessary, to avoid mistakes made due to lack of experience- mistakes that have scarred otherwise good people for life.
ReplyDeleteP.S: Associating the male gender as "dominating" gender may not be entirely correct.So far a gender isnt dominating- it is society that may allow it to be so- and not nature itself.
Hope to read more such excellent content.
Thank you for your comment!
DeleteThat is true but in general mostly it's the male gender that is the dominating one, while the dominating role has to be taken up by someone, the leniency which is given is granted is not fair.
Hope to keep you hooked to the posts which will follow