Personal touches; Socializing, Anger management and self harm.
I had been wanting to write about a few things but for one reason or another, I just couldn't find the time to do so. So on the list of the things which I wanna talk about are
i) Socializing.
ii) Anger management.
iii) Self harm.
The first two have a personal touch and the last one, well that's something which needs to be talked about cause it's just important.
First of Socializing, I was never big on confidence, so there was always this confusion which would make everything blurry and put in second thoughts when I had to speak to someone, answer a question or simply when I had to break the ice, what would they say, what if I sound too dumb, what if I make a blunder, what if the whole class laughs at me, what if I pronounce something wrong, what if I don't know the answer, what if that person doesn't wanna talk to me; there were so many thoughts which held me back, and cause I don't have a loud voice, sometimes whatever I say still feels like a mumble to everyone, well that's just a functional issue lol. There was this outing with the ward batch yesterday and I answered all those confusions which gave me second thoughts, when socializing the people who are sitting with you on the table are just as interested in you as you are in them, if they weren't why would they make an effort to take the time out of their lives for this occasion, you can always make a mistake as long as you can correct it, well I don't mean slapping, kicking, abusing someone and then saying hey I'm sorry, that wouldn't work, what I mean is sometimes people make mistakes, like unintentionally you can offend someone with something you thought is funny but it was offensive to someone, then you should immediately give a sincere apology and then give that person some space, if you're confused about something then just ask, the easiest thing would be just ask a question, how's your day going, this question will yield the answer whether you should continue the conversation or not. Knowing the person next to you is important, their thoughts might be representative of the majority of this society or of the minority, either way it would be a great learning for you. The more you socialize, the more your people skill develop and the less likely you will be to offend someone and the more likely you will be to give someone a quality time. Remember, not everyone has to like you or agree with you, but no one deserves to be treated wrongly. If you have to thank people for coming and making it memorable, send something different to each person, it doesn't have to be a long message or a really paragraph, change a few words but keep the context same. It will help you develop a good association with everyone, every person is unique so treat them like that.
Anger Management, anger is something which is becoming a huge problem. Over exaggeration of a strong emotion which leads to temporary escape from the confines of civilized world. Something doesn't go my way, I can't find something, why can't I find it, where did I put it, why isn't that person answering my call, why did that person cut me off in traffic. So many things lead to this loss of control, I've experienced it, once you let go that cool getting angry just becomes a reflex, next time something happens, before you realize it, a couple of curses have already been said, sometimes a fight results, a mess is created. Before you let it become a reflex, stop it, it will only become a reflex if you recondition it, if you don't it will just wash away. More on this over the next few days.
Self harm, I had the brief interaction with someone today, one of the things which I noticed where superficial, multiple cuts, from the looks it seemed like a razor blade cut but it could've been a fine knife but I side towards the razor blade cause these are easier to hide if someone does self harm. This problem is something which people don't talk about, I mean it just doesn't hold that "level of cool" and talking about such problems is really not that easy in Pakistan, people don't register these signs as a cry for help and support, no one loves to do self harm, its just something which expresses their emotions in the need of hour, once no one is there with proper support, the only way out is self harm. The pattern is pretty obvious, mostly superficial cuts of the same intensity and depth. This needs help, sometimes only a professional can help, but for that to happen, one needs to know about it, once you know something is wrong only then you can help.
i) Socializing.
ii) Anger management.
iii) Self harm.
The first two have a personal touch and the last one, well that's something which needs to be talked about cause it's just important.
First of Socializing, I was never big on confidence, so there was always this confusion which would make everything blurry and put in second thoughts when I had to speak to someone, answer a question or simply when I had to break the ice, what would they say, what if I sound too dumb, what if I make a blunder, what if the whole class laughs at me, what if I pronounce something wrong, what if I don't know the answer, what if that person doesn't wanna talk to me; there were so many thoughts which held me back, and cause I don't have a loud voice, sometimes whatever I say still feels like a mumble to everyone, well that's just a functional issue lol. There was this outing with the ward batch yesterday and I answered all those confusions which gave me second thoughts, when socializing the people who are sitting with you on the table are just as interested in you as you are in them, if they weren't why would they make an effort to take the time out of their lives for this occasion, you can always make a mistake as long as you can correct it, well I don't mean slapping, kicking, abusing someone and then saying hey I'm sorry, that wouldn't work, what I mean is sometimes people make mistakes, like unintentionally you can offend someone with something you thought is funny but it was offensive to someone, then you should immediately give a sincere apology and then give that person some space, if you're confused about something then just ask, the easiest thing would be just ask a question, how's your day going, this question will yield the answer whether you should continue the conversation or not. Knowing the person next to you is important, their thoughts might be representative of the majority of this society or of the minority, either way it would be a great learning for you. The more you socialize, the more your people skill develop and the less likely you will be to offend someone and the more likely you will be to give someone a quality time. Remember, not everyone has to like you or agree with you, but no one deserves to be treated wrongly. If you have to thank people for coming and making it memorable, send something different to each person, it doesn't have to be a long message or a really paragraph, change a few words but keep the context same. It will help you develop a good association with everyone, every person is unique so treat them like that.
Anger Management, anger is something which is becoming a huge problem. Over exaggeration of a strong emotion which leads to temporary escape from the confines of civilized world. Something doesn't go my way, I can't find something, why can't I find it, where did I put it, why isn't that person answering my call, why did that person cut me off in traffic. So many things lead to this loss of control, I've experienced it, once you let go that cool getting angry just becomes a reflex, next time something happens, before you realize it, a couple of curses have already been said, sometimes a fight results, a mess is created. Before you let it become a reflex, stop it, it will only become a reflex if you recondition it, if you don't it will just wash away. More on this over the next few days.
Self harm, I had the brief interaction with someone today, one of the things which I noticed where superficial, multiple cuts, from the looks it seemed like a razor blade cut but it could've been a fine knife but I side towards the razor blade cause these are easier to hide if someone does self harm. This problem is something which people don't talk about, I mean it just doesn't hold that "level of cool" and talking about such problems is really not that easy in Pakistan, people don't register these signs as a cry for help and support, no one loves to do self harm, its just something which expresses their emotions in the need of hour, once no one is there with proper support, the only way out is self harm. The pattern is pretty obvious, mostly superficial cuts of the same intensity and depth. This needs help, sometimes only a professional can help, but for that to happen, one needs to know about it, once you know something is wrong only then you can help.
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