Dealing with a setback.

It's 6 am over here, the windows are open, and you could hear as it rains down, a gentle gust of wind brings its charm over as I stand near the balcony. If only I had a cup of tea and fruit buns with cream cheese at this very moment I would surely be having a great time, but earthly pleasures do not last long as my cup would be finished soon and the fruit buns loaded with cream cheese, however delicious would be making its way down to the digestive tract. What does last is your thinking, this relaxing environment gives me a time to delve deep in some thoughts and simply wonder about what is essential. 

Is it important working like a machine, No! I would surely get an energetic No if I were standing on a stage and asking a crowd. But at the very next moment, if I was to ask this next question, "how many of you are willing to hold on to "this No", the reply might not be soaked in the same zeal. 

We always have thoughts about changing, about giving time to our thoughts, our problems yet we go astray from these thoughts when faced with the opportunity, why if you ask, the answer is that it is simply easy.

After a genuine analysis, I found out this simple truth, our conversations are built on whats around us but not Us. We tend to think of an environment as the force which produces an action, okay. Imagine you are standing near the Niagara Falls, the Empire state building, the Alps, on the peak of K-2, the edge of a road or a railways track, these places are the surroundings, now think about you having to deal with the stress of being behind on bills, payments, having your fridge empty. On top of that you just got fired. That should add a lot of stress, and a lot of gloom as well, its a pretty bleak picture, now out of the blue you get the idea that the world would be better without you, and you make the most hare-brained decision to end your life. Now imagine that you're able to see the world without you, I am sure that you would find that nothing stops for you, nothing stops with you except you! Change the direction of light projection and even your shadow will grow distant, so now what? The hell, if nothing would be better without you what's the point.

When under stress, we feel the urge of quitting, but quitting is easy. How many people do you see walk out of a marathon in the beginning, how many people do you see who say "ah well I don't think I'll be able to make it out there". Not counting those who have real issue, I have a meniscus tear and it makes life hell for me at days, so I would not think of running a marathon. But if you have the opportunity, if you have the chance to compete, why not take it? We have been drowned deeply in the battles of competition, this works like a magic pill for some people, but for the majority, it simply makes us feel dejected and not worthy. The competition itself is not bad, working on making yourself better and improve your understanding is the key to progress. What is wrong is not being told how to handle the stress, how to go and about after failing. I had the IELTS test, the first time I went there I did not know a lot about their marking, I simply went there thinking that if I can write a blog, if I can nearly finish writing a book, I can surely get the bands I needed. Instead, there was a disappointment. I was short of 0.5 in writing, and what did it push me into? Ah you guessed it, uncountable stress. I was unsure of what to do, not aware of how to go with it and generally tried focusing anywhere but on this topic. There was this anger, that how could I not get that band when I was so close. 

The next time I sat for that exam I cleared it. But in that time, I learnt one thing, dealing with a failure is something we don't give enough importance to. We divert our attention, there's this stigma, this taboo associated with failing, that people who fail are not good enough, and this could failing at anything. Think of being in a gym and trying to lift the weights that a dude had just put back, you try and nothing. And you see everyone around you doing exercises easily, and then you almost get the weight off but your posture is wrong and soon you hear someone starting to laugh. After a surge of embarrassment, you put the weights down and leave. Now, you forget that its your first day, you don't know how many times those guys have failed, and even if someone got the correct posture the first time they probably went through the proper description and steps. But now you say, I read those too!! But you forget that everyone is different and it does not make a difference. The first time you drive on the motorway, you feel less confident, but after a couple of runs, it doesn't seem like a big deal at all. 

Dealing with a failure....... nah let's just call it a setback, dealing with a setback is important. What you first need to do is this, take a deep breath, don't say that it happens to everyone cause you are not considering everyone, you are YOU. Now what you need to do is just sit down for a few moments, tell yourself that it is a setback but its not the end of the world. But don't think over it too much, give yourself sometime to let it work out for yourself, just some own time. If you think too much when you're stressed, you'll make a rash decision and that doesn't work too well most of the time. Instead calm yourself, take a walk, sit down, read something, anything that would connect yourself to you, lift some wrights but do it because you want to do it, and not because Rambo from the gym told you to do so. When you think that you that you no longer are on the emotional roller coaster, then you think about what happened, how it impacts your life in the current way, what will be its long term effect and what options do you have. 

You always have options, but with the rash thinking while being high on the roller coaster of emotions these option tend to be placed in the blind spot.