Happiness.

Happiness. These 9 alphabets stringed together to form a word which everyone knows how to say, a word that almost everyone says they can relate to yet this word, this simple word, is a whole new dimension. 

I was driving earlier in the afternoon today, and on that road there are about six or seven speed-breakers, successive with a distance of almost 150 meters in between them. The road is located within a university so it makes sense to have that many at such a short distance. As I crossed the second last speed-breaker, a question arose in my mind "Khushi kia hai? Kia mai kabhi khush tha? Kia khushi kisi insaan sae jurri houi hoti hai? (what is happiness? Was I ever happy? Is happiness linked to the existence of another human?) 

These questions weren't new, I had ended a chapter of my draft at a question about happiness. Over the next few minutes I gave all these questions a thought, tried to find answers. But they aren't easy to answer. A lot of people would define happiness as a state where you feel valued and it brings you contentment, where you feel you have someone to love you (not considering the family part since most of us have family, and most of us are up to the majority of the time ignorant about their importance) and you feel this surge of positive emotions and where you feel that you are flourishing. Let's agree with all of that, and then ask a simple yes or no question, are you happy? And not ask for a spontaneous answer, because a lot of people will say yeah, I'm happy but if xyz could've happened I'd be happier. Ask them again and tell them it's a yes or no only, then they'll most likely say yes I am happy. The simpler answer is not a lot of people are happy, not because things aren't just going their way, but because not a lot of people have experienced the actual state of happiness. 

I was happy at two instances, one when I got a text saying that I had been selected into a medical school and the second time was when I passed my first year exam. It's not that I was excited about studying medicine, I was never really interested in the beginning, I had other plans but they did not work out. Quite frankly, it was the sheer surprise that brought happiness. The second was because I started from scratch about how to study, there were people who were so good at studies and somedays it was just hard putting all that effort, but I'm glad I was successful with that. 

Focusing on that point, my happiness was not directly because of the presence of someone else, it was not about feeling valued, it was not about having someone to "love" me, my family was very happy at the news. 

That feeling of happiness, looking back it all point to one thing, YOU. We feel happy when we do something that pleases us, not the direct effect it has on others but on us. Happiness is all about you and yourself. I feel happy writing my book, I feel happy splattering my thoughts on this blog, I feel happy making memes. Others aren't necessarily happy about any of those things, to most of them I just might be writing nonsense and my memes are crap. But if I look at all of those things from someone else's perspective, I would be on the losing end. I write something, I feel happy and I share it to get the feedback about grammar or if my readers can feel a surge of emotions as well. If I feel content with my work, I am happy, if I don't feel content I improve. If someone does not like my work and cannot give me some feedback about it, why should I drown myself? 

Happiness is all about you, it does not depend on anyone else. We tend to feel more "happy" when someone can say something positive about whatever it might be just because happiness once shared brings joy to others. Sharing your happiness with someone else would make them feel valued, not the other way around. Not sharing your happiness with anyone won't hurt anyone, neither would it make you selfish because let's be honest, it was about you in the first place, wasn't it? 

Feel free to share your thoughts. 

Till the next time.